I've always been depressed.

I've always been depressed. For as long as I can remember the past 7 years have been hell in my life. There were some really good times when the flame gets too hot you enjoy it, like spending time with your family or staying up with your one friend but every single night, for the past 7 years, not once did I feel I was good with life. I'm not suicidal anymore, I think it's ridiculous. I don't self harm, or do anything I don't want to to my body. I'm so tired of life, but I don't want to die either. I want to pause, sit still, be quite and freeze everything around me. I want to be completely alone, surrounded​ by no one and nothing. No light, no color, no voice, sounds, or noise. I want the whole world to stop.

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